I Suck at Poker

Running bad, playing bad, things are not looking pretty in my PT database right now. Yesterday I played this totally crazy fish heads up at NL200 on Stars. He sat in with what I assume was his whole bankroll, like $95.90. Several hours later, he quits me with +$1400 in front of him. Yah. Not that I have a ton of HU experience, but this was definitely the grossest match I've ever played. I seriously felt like I could not win a single pot against him; he hit every possible draw; every time I had a big hand he somehow showed up with a bigger one (usually some crazy backdoor draw that got there on the river). I couldn't read his hands at all b/c he was so crazy; he just kept making all these bizarre min bets and overbets. Oh god it was frustrating. I played pretty shitty and tilted quite a bit. When I get badly tilted, my face gets all flushed and I can hear the blood whooshing around in my ears. Thankfully this happens to me pretty rarely, and I don't do any completely crazy shit like starting to open push every hand or anything. But I do start not thinking things through and manage to justify some pretty horrible decisions. I guess it's that fight or flight thing--all of the higher cognitive functions start shutting down b/c the body needs the energy elsewhere. Unfortunately I am not running from a bear, stupid body. Couldn't you please leave my brain alone next time?

Anyway, here are a few fun hands I've played recently:

I couldn't believe the hand this guy flipped over after just calling my river bet. How does he not find a raise there?!?
Full Tilt Poker Game #6279721196: Table Sandra (deep) - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:55:30 ET - 2008/05/04
Seat 1: apparatchik ($1,160.70)
Seat 2: tightplay123 ($195.90)
Seat 3: famouslastwords ($2,000.20)
Seat 4: youpay2see ($663.70)
Seat 5: CARATLADY ($390)
Seat 6: probaksu ($873.70)
Seat 7: LA_Slim ($898.10)
Seat 8: Cuernavaca ($239)
Seat 9: finchdog ($694.15)
finchdog posts the small blind of $2
apparatchik posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS **
Dealt to famouslastwords [Ad Td]
tightplay123 folds
famouslastwords raises to $14
youpay2see folds
CARATLADY folds
probaksu folds
LA_Slim calls $14
Cuernavaca has 15 seconds left to act
Cuernavaca folds
finchdog folds
apparatchik folds
** FLOP ** [Kd 5d Jh]
famouslastwords has 15 seconds left to act
famouslastwords bets $26
LA_Slim calls $26
*** TURN ** [Kd 5d Jh] [Jd]
famouslastwords bets $60
LA_Slim calls $60
*** RIVER ** [Kd 5d Jh Jd] [Qd]
famouslastwords has 15 seconds left to act
famouslastwords bets $145
LA_Slim has 15 seconds left to act
LA_Slim calls $145
*** SHOW DOWN **
famouslastwords shows [Ad Td] a Royal Flush
LA_Slim mucks
famouslastwords wins the pot ($493) with a Royal Flush
** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $496 | Rake $3
Board: [Kd 5d Jh Jd Qd]
Seat 1: apparatchik (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: tightplay123 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: famouslastwords showed [Ad Td] and won ($493) with a Royal Flush
Seat 4: youpay2see didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: CARATLADY didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: probaksu didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: LA_Slim mucked [Qh Jc] - a full house, Jacks full of Queens
Seat 8: Cuernavaca (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: finchdog (small blind) folded before the Flop

Full Tilt has these new deep tables, where you can buy in for 200bbs (and I think the min. buy-in is 50bbs). They had these before, but only at weird blind levels that hardly anyone ever plays. So now they have them at the normal levels, and I love them so, so much. But this hand really stung:
Full Tilt Poker Game #6272638104: Table Sammis (deep) - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 14:20:43 ET - 2008/05/03
Seat 1: CARATLADY ($384)
Seat 2: skins7 ($933.40)
Seat 3: KingNutzzz ($920.50)
Seat 4: j23ad ($221.50)
Seat 5: famouslastwords ($1,413.70)
Seat 6: Freedrinksonme ($807)
Seat 7: Dino21Might ($400)
Seat 8: novel20 ($961.80)
Seat 9: Storm God ($800)
skins7 posts the small blind of $2
KingNutzzz posts the big blind of $4
5 seconds left to act
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to famouslastwords [5s 4s]
j23ad folds
famouslastwords raises to $14
Freedrinksonme folds
novel20 folds
Storm God folds
CARATLADY folds
skins7 folds
KingNutzzz raises to $50
famouslastwords calls $36
*** FLOP *** [5h Tc 4d]
KingNutzzz bets $80
famouslastwords raises to $280
KingNutzzz raises to $870.50, and is all in
famouslastwords calls $590.50
KingNutzzz shows [As Ac]
famouslastwords shows [5s 4s]
KingNutzzz: wow
*** TURN *** [5h Tc 4d] [Qh]
*** RIVER *** [5h Tc 4d Qh] [Th]
KingNutzzz shows two pair, Aces and Tens
famouslastwords shows two pair, Tens and Fives
KingNutzzz wins the pot ($1,840) with two pair, Aces and Tens
famouslastwords adds $306.80
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $1,843 | Rake $3
Board: [5h Tc 4d Qh Th]
Seat 1: CARATLADY (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: skins7 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: KingNutzzz (big blind) showed [As Ac] and won ($1,840) with two pair, Aces and Tens
Seat 4: j23ad didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: famouslastwords showed [5s 4s] and lost with two pair, Tens and Fives
Seat 6: Freedrinksonme didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: Dino21Might is sitting out
Seat 8: novel20 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: Storm God didn't bet (folded)

This one was against some guy who was either really tilted or really drunk. (Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be 3-betting the drunk/tilted guys with crap). I make a good read here, but the outcome ain't so good (running bad etc.).
Full Tilt Poker Game #6275198184: Table Bunch Grass - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 18:07:17 ET - 2008/05/03
Seat 1: ELVIS 54 ($397)
Seat 2: Richman316 ($80)
Seat 3: Tilty_Poo ($233)
Seat 4: Lou Siffer 13 ($300)
Seat 5: JerseyGrl07 ($225)
Seat 6: dabigboss187 ($400)
Seat 7: famouslastwords ($400)
Seat 8: Inzomnia ($396)
Seat 9: BOASK ($415.60)
Inzomnia posts the small blind of $2
BOASK posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS **
Dealt to famouslastwords [9c Kc]
ELVIS 54 folds
Tilty_Poo folds
JerseyGrl07 folds
dabigboss187 raises to $14
famouslastwords raises to $45
Inzomnia folds
BOASK folds
dabigboss187 raises to $76
famouslastwords calls $31
** FLOP ** [Qc 6h 9d]
dabigboss187 has 15 seconds left to act
dabigboss187 bets $158
famouslastwords raises to $324, and is all in
dabigboss187 calls $166, and is all in
famouslastwords shows [9c Kc]
dabigboss187 shows [Js Th]
*** TURN ** [Qc 6h 9d] [8h]
*** RIVER ** [Qc 6h 9d 8h] [7s]
famouslastwords shows a pair of Nines
dabigboss187 shows a straight, Queen high
dabigboss187 wins the pot ($803) with a straight, Queen high
famouslastwords adds $400
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $806 | Rake $3
Board: [Qc 6h 9d 8h 7s]
Seat 1: ELVIS 54 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Richman316 is sitting out
Seat 3: Tilty_Poo didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Lou Siffer 13 is sitting out
Seat 5: JerseyGrl07 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: dabigboss187 showed [Js Th] and won ($803) with a straight, Queen high
Seat 7: famouslastwords (button) showed [9c Kc] and lost with a pair of Nines
Seat 8: Inzomnia (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 9: BOASK (big blind) folded before the Flop

This one is just hilarious. NL200, lol.
Full Tilt Poker Game #6273325198: Table Phil Ivey - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 15:24:35 ET - 2008/05/03
Seat 1: Coox ($246.80)
Seat 2: paythedonts ($94.65)
Seat 3: famouslastwords ($245.45)
Seat 4: walley6 ($149.10)
Seat 6: SpikerBuck ($172.55)
Seat 7: NicoretteGum ($217.75)
Seat 8: hotrodwvsu ($61.90)
Seat 9: Vic Makey ($193.75)
hotrodwvsu posts the small blind of $1
Vic Makey posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS **
Dealt to famouslastwords [3c 3d]
Coox folds
paythedonts folds
famouslastwords raises to $7
walley6 has 15 seconds left to act
walley6 raises to $12
SpikerBuck folds
NicoretteGum folds
hotrodwvsu folds
Vic Makey folds
famouslastwords calls $5
** FLOP ** [6d 9d Ts]
famouslastwords checks
walley6 has 15 seconds left to act
Vic Makey stands up
walley6 checks
*** TURN ** [6d 9d Ts] [5s]
famouslastwords checks
walley6 has 15 seconds left to act
walley6 checks
*** RIVER ** [6d 9d Ts 5s] [Qc]
famouslastwords checks
walley6 has 15 seconds left to act
walley6 checks
*** SHOW DOWN **
walley6 shows [Qd Qh] three of a kind, Queens
famouslastwords mucks
walley6 wins the pot ($25.65) with three of a kind, Queens
** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $27 | Rake $1.35
Board: [6d 9d Ts 5s Qc]
Seat 1: Coox didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: paythedonts didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: famouslastwords mucked [3c 3d] - a pair of Threes
Seat 4: walley6 showed [Qd Qh] and won ($25.65) with three of a kind, Queens
Seat 6: SpikerBuck didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: NicoretteGum (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: hotrodwvsu (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 9: Vic Makey (big blind) folded before the Flop